At Water's Edge

I was just finished the first week of my second semester at the glorious BYU-Idaho! I'm not going to lie; it was taxing, hard, trying, and at times, discouraging. But it was also wonderful, enlightening, beautiful, and humbling. The beginning of my week started in despair and agony. I was more confused than I had ever been and wasn't sure why. The end of this week, however, feels days, months away from that first day. The things that I have learned and the people that I have encountered have changed everything. If at the beginning of this week you had told me that I would have switched majors and changed perspectives completely, I would have laughed in your face and trudged off to the Snow Building practice rooms to play the marimba. 


But this week I have learned a valuable lesson; one of faith and humility. I have actually learned so much in this week first that I can't even comprehend it all at one time. I have been so inspired and enlightened, it's crazy! Being at this special university has definitely changed my life forever. But coming back to my original thought, I have learned one of the most important lessons that one could learn: 


faith. 


At the beginning of the week I was positive that I wanted to go to school for Music Education. I was dead set on it and I wasn't budging. But then something happened that day that scared me. I hated the feelings that came with it all. That's not to say that Music Education won't be near and dear to my heart always, and that's not to say that the Music program is bad. I'm also not saying that I necessarily -wanted- to switch majors either. It wasn't too hard, it wasn't too much work, and it wasn't something that I hated. In fact, music is what I wanted to succeed at more than anything else. But, I didn't want to be there anymore and I knew had to change or I would be miserable (but we already know that from my last blog, right?) I knew that Heavenly Father had other plans for me, and I also knew that He knew I wasn't going to be happy. So, I prayed. I prayed hard. And I didn't say, "Okay, what should I do?" I said, "Is this -really- what you want me to do? Are you sure?" I already kind of knew what I had to do, I just didn't know why. So, I took the plunge. I changed my major. I didn't give myself time to think about it too much, I just did it. The thing is, I didn't have a crystal clear answer as to if what I was doing was the right thing or not. It just felt right, so I did it. 


This week in my classes (funny how they all relate, huh?) we have been discussing learning by the Spirit and having faith. We also have been talking about acting vs. being acted upon. This week I decided to act, and I believe wholeheartedly that I was blessed for that. Here's an exert from Elder Bednar's talk about Learning by the Spirit:

"Recall how the Israelites came to the river Jordan and were promised the waters would part, and they would be able to cross over on dry ground. Interestingly, the waters did not part as the children of Israel stood on the banks of the river waiting for something to happen; rather, the soles of their feet were wet before the water parted. The Faith of the Israelites was manifested in the fact that they walked into the water before it parted. They walked into the river Jordan With a future--‐facing assurance of things hoped for. As the Israelites moved forward, the water parted, and as they crossed over on dry land, they looked back and beheld the evidence of things not seen. In this episode, faith as assurance led to action and produced the evidence of things not seen that were true." - David A. Bednar

This implies that the Israelites acted upon their faith. They weren't just going to stand around and say, "Okay, Lord, we're here. Part the waters, and we'll go on our merry way." They took action. They took the first few steps into the water before the Lord parted the waters for them. They didn't merely stand at water's edge and wait for the miracle to happen, but were rather anxiously engaged in the cause. We have to become like the Israelites. We have to get our feet wet before we can expect Heavenly Father to make a dry pathway for us. We have to take those oh-so-scary steps into the darkness and have the faith to know that Heavenly Father will shine light on our situation in His time. 


I firmly believe that Heavenly Father wants me to be happy. And through a simple thing, like changing my major, He knew that I would be so much happier. He knew that I would learn so much more, and that the experiences and people that I met will shape and mold me into the best person that I can me. I'll always be eternally grateful to Him for "making" me make a choice that I didn't want to make. I'll always be eternally grateful for this experience so that I could learn and grow and be happy. Finally, happy.